Brothers and Sisters, no matter how often I say it, I truly feel that it is my absolute pleasure to be with you this evening and I hope that you all know that we, as a Stake Presidency, sincerely love you and we pray for you in all that you do. It is, in fact, this love that motivates my remarks this evening and I pray that Spirit may be with us all.
When my Brother-in-law moved his family from Kaysville Utah to the San Francisco Area for his work, we decided to take our family up there to help them get settled. When we arrived the movers had also just arrived and started to unload the truck, which was also the same time that the painters were quickly trying to finish painting the interior. Our kids and their cousins were all very excited to see each other and there is no park on this planet that seems to be more fun than a big, empty, echoey house to run through and scream in! The kids added to the chaos of the moment and the best thing that we could do to help was to go run some errands and take all of the kids with us! We didn’t know the area, so my sister-in-law came with us as a guide and the only car big enough for all of us was their suburban.
So picture this scene in your mind’s eye and the looks we must have gotten; driving through the streets of the San Francisco bay area in a large, gas guzzling suburban, with Utah license plates, and out of the car hop one man, two women, and a gaggle of children! When I realized what a sight we were I looked at my sister-in-law and said; “we’re not making the best first impression on your new neighbors!”
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we often face many stereotypes, perceptions, and challenges from those who aren't members of our church, that we must overcome. Our top notch public affairs team has done and continues to do wonderful things to improve the image of the Church here in Rancho Cucamonga, But despite all of their good work, the best thing that we can do to change the perception of others, lies with us and our actions. Not only must we overcome these challenges from without the church, but we must also overcome different stereotypes, cliques, and assumptions from within the Church and even within our own stake as well. For example: We are all in different phases of life, but it may surprise you to find out that 46% of the adults in our stake are single, going against a common belief that we have of ourselves. Members of the Church come in all different shapes and sizes, ethnicities, political views, backgrounds...some even root for the University of Utah, we’re all different and that is wonderful. We have different gifts and talents. That is the beauty of this Church, we bring everything that we have and use it to strengthen one another or as the Lord says: “For all have not every gift given unto them...To some is given one, and to some is given another, that ALL may be profited thereby.” (D&C 46:11-12) If we are going to begin to change these perceptions, within and out, we must start with ourselves. Whatever we do, It will serve us all well to remember this mantra: “people matter!”
First: Overcoming perceptions from without. During my various callings relating to public affairs, there are two worldly expressions about our faith that have bothered me. The first: “A loaf of bread and a cold shoulder.” The perception being that we’ll bring you a loaf of bread and care for you until you tell us that you aren’t interested in our religion, then we give you the cold shoulder. The second is a backhanded compliment that “Mormons (their word, not mine) do a good job of taking care of themselves.”
When Elder LeGrand Curtis, of the Seventy, was here last June he talked about the difference between capital M ministering and lower case M ministering. Capital ministering is the formal ministering that we should all be involved with in our Relief Societies and Elders Quorums. But the lowercase ministering was more about the type of people that we should be. We should be good neighbors to everyone regardless of their religious beliefs or their interest in, or lack thereof, our religion. Lowercase ministering is holding the door for a stranger, lending a hand to a coworker, extending sincere gratitude to clerks, checkers, waiters, and others who serve us. It’s Taking a plate of cookies to a neighbor just because you were making cookies. Lowercase ministering also applies to members of the Church. Its holding the door for the mother whose arms are full of children, diaper bags, and cheerios, lending a hand to someone who could use some help with their calling, showing sincere gratitude to our child’s Young Woman’s leader, to our Sunday School teacher, or our Bishop’s wife. It’s taking a plate of cookies to someone just because we were baking cookies and not because it was the 31 of the month, or we have a ministering interview coming up so we’d better do something! Let us resolve right now that with our neighbors and coworkers and anyone else that we meet, we will be kinder and more Christlike. It truly saddens my heart that we, as a society, have lost the ability to disagree without being disagreeable. We can change that, let us cease being disagreeable! We can still love and serve those who we disagree with.
Our dear prophet, Pres. Nelson was recently visiting with the fire victims in Northern California and he was asked how he could leave his home and do that just two days after losing his own daughter to cancer. His response will serve us all well: “We mourn the loss of our second daughter, and yet, there’s nothing we’d rather do than try to be of help to others...You learn that everybody has challenges and if you want to feel better, forget about yourself and serve somebody else.”
How we are viewed, or how we perceive that we’re viewed, is often skewed by how we view others. Are we looking for the best in others or are we assuming the worst? It is true, sadly, that there are bad people in this world who do horrible things but the Savior is the perfect example. I am awed by the forgiveness that the He displayed on the cross when He prayed that the Father forgive the Soldiers who had put Him there; “for they know not what they do.” Earlier in His ministry Jesus said: “Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” (Luke 6: 27-28) I remember when my oldest son was in second grade and came home and announced to us who his “nemesis” was. We talked to him about being kind and assured him that since he wasn’t a superhero he was much too young to have a Nemesis. After the horrific events of September 11, 2001 with the attacks on the world trade center, I remember feeling afraid and uncertain about the future. That night when I knelt to say my prayers, my heart was going out to the families of the victims and first responders, and then before I could conclude my prayer the impression came, “love your enemies...pray for them which despitefully use you.” It was difficult, but I did, I prayed for those who wished us any harm or further malice that they might be enlightened that hate would subside. As I did, my fears of the future started to wane as I felt the love of a Heavenly Father who loves all of His children, even those who lose their way and perpetuate evil, just as any parent does when their child makes mistakes. Praying for those who despitefully use us can mean that we pray that light may come into their lives, or that they will cease their evil ways and realize their errors. To be clear, praying for them does not mean that we either condone their actions or want to excuse them from their consequences. On the contrary, we do believe in justice but we believe in the justice administered by a loving and fair Heavenly Father. A year or so ago, our youngest Paul, was saying his bedtime prayer and in it he said “Please bless King Noah and the Lamanites that they’ll get good. At the conclusion of his prayer I looked at my wife and said “I ain’t going to tell Him.” Well this went on for some time where he prayed for Noah and the Lamanites in his personal, meal time, and family prayers. Finally, I pulled him in close and I said “Buddy, the Book of Mormon happened a long time ago and King Noah and the Lamanites didn’t get good and they’re dead now.” He looked at me, slightly confused, and said “I know but didn’t you say that people who don’t go to church here on earth could go to church in Heaven?” Knowing exactly what he meant, I told him to “pray on!” On another occasion I was complaining to my wife about some of my students and the morally bad choices they were making. She very wisely calmed me down and reminded me that they were all God’s children and that they just needed a lot of extra love and prayers. Praying for others, even when we disagree with them or their actions have been evil, is good for our souls as we exercise obedience.
As we do these things, as we change how we think about and treat those who are not members of our Church, it will change our hearts and how others see us.
Next, overcoming our difficulties from within the Church. Simply put the Lord will have a unified people! Think about our own Church History. Some of the darkest times for those early Saints were caused by the members own dissensions and backbiting. The Book of Mormon is also full of examples of the pride cycle where the righteous began to be prideful and divided which led to their fall. In 4 Nephi, after the Savior Ascended back to Heaven, there was 200 years of peace and prosperity and complete righteousness. In the 201 year there “began to be among them those who were lifted up in pride...and they began to be divided into classes; and they began to build up churches unto themselves.” After that, the floodgates were opened and more and more righteous fell away until soon there was not a righteous people in the land. Shortly before the Lord was taken away He prayed for His apostles, and consequently us, that “they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in Thee, that they also may be one in us.” It is the act of bringing together our differences into the body of Christ that makes us strong. We need to avoid cliques that can exclude others. We must not allow pride in any of its various forms to creep into our congregations or families. We can help each other, we can forgive each other, we can love each other for not in spite of our differences.
In addition to these differences, we all have our faults. Some are more public than others, but all we all have them. In our last conference Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles pointed out: “You will find that this Church is filled with some of the finest people this world has to offer. They are welcoming, loving, kind, and sincere. They are hardworking, willing to sacrifice, and even heroic at times. And they are also painfully imperfect. They make mistakes. From time to time they say things they shouldn’t. They do things they wish they hadn’t. But they do have this in common—they want to improve and draw closer to the Lord, our Savior, even Jesus Christ. They are trying to get it right...They want to become less selfish, more compassionate, more refined, more like Jesus...Regardless of our differences, we seek to embrace one another as sons and daughters of our beloved Heavenly Father.”
Because we all have our faults we must be careful how we judge one another. “Judge not unrighteously, that ye be not judged; but judge righteous judgement. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged.” (Matt 7:1-2 JST translation) So then, what is the ‘righteous judgement?’ The Church reference book, True to the Faith, states: “Sometimes people feel that it is wrong to judge others in any way. While it is true that you should not condemn others or judge them unrighteously, you will need to make judgments of ideas, situations, and people throughout your life. … “Judgment is an important use of your agency and requires great care, especially when you make judgments about other people. All your judgments must be guided by righteous standards. Remember that only God, who knows each individual’s heart, can make final judgments of individuals. … “… As much as you can, judge people’s situations rather than judging the people themselves. Whenever possible, refrain from making judgments until you have an adequate knowledge of the facts. Always be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, who can guide your decisions” (True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference). By judging actions, not people, we can begin to fortify against pride as we see each other as Brothers and Sisters. As a side note, allow me to point that this righteous judgement applies to ourselves also. It seems that often we are our own worst critics. We have to be honest with ourselves and not rationalize away our mistakes but we also don’t need to be our own executioner.
Remembering all these things will change our hearts to be more like the Savior’s and that alone will begin to dissolve the artificial barriers that can rise between members of our congregations.
The best way to break down the stereotypes of others and in ourselves is by remembering the love that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for each of us. As President Smith has said, and we have adopted as a Stake Presidency: “people matter.” We can and we must minister to all. Remember the account in Alma: “And thus, in their prosperous circumstances, they did not send away any who were naked, or that were hungry, or that were athirst, or that were sick, or that had not been nourished; and they did not set their hearts upon riches; therefore they were liberal to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, whether out of the church or in the church, having no respect to persons as to those who stood in need.” EVERYONE mattered to them. “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men [and women], that all men might repent and come unto him.” (D&C 18:10-11) The great secret to solving society's evils is love. It’s right there in 4 Nephi: “And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people. And there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness; and surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God...but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.” John then tells us how we can have the love of God in our hearts: “If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John 4:12) Brothers and Sisters, when we strip down our differences, every person who has ever lived and ever will live on this planet has three fundamental things in common that reminds us that we're all fundamentally the same: First, We all came from our loving Heavenly Father in the premortal existence. Second, when given the choice, in the premortal world, who we would follow, we all chose our Heavenly Father and Brother Jesus Christ. Third, our Heavenly Father wants ALL of us to return to Him in exaltation because He LOVES each and every one of us. As pertaining to this exaltation, we, who have a testimony of it, have a sacred mandate to help as many other people as we can to achieve it. When we’re kind to one another, serve one another, help, forgive, pray and care for each other we will love each other and God will dwell in our hearts. When we gain a true testimony of this, that people matter, we will start to break down the negative stereotypes of others and we will no longer see each other by our differences but rather we will see each other as fellow members of the family of God.
Saturday night Stake Conference talk given by Pres. Joel Wilson
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